I know i promised not to blog until i finish my exam.. but i think i NEED to write~
November 30, 2010
11:50 PM
Its 10 minutes before the clock strikes 12 and im still here feeling a bit sleepy… Its weird the chickens are doing there stuffs instead of dogs barking at midnight…
Well it is almost midnight and few mins from now its december… whoah time flies so fast and is just like a blink of an eye… it seems yesterday I just graduated from college now im going to take my board exams.. which is technically why I am still awake right now… cant sleep coz of anxiety maybe…
19 days to go before the NLE (Nursing Licensure Examination) and im really scared. Ahh… I should pass this exam, one take only. I got a lot of time to prepare for this but im hate myself not complying to my promise.. like studying at this very momment… L but I cant focus if there is something bothering me and not letting it out through writing. So I take this single moment to write, just give me an hour.
So much stuffs happened to me last 2 months… some celebrations like bdays,maskkara festival, and just some gatherings. Well I love gatherings.. especially with my friends~ I feel like I completely forgotten the exam for awhile when im with them. And ofcourse not to mention FOODS… yumyum.. I really love foods especially seafoods like crabs,shrimps and squid… include also “long life” foods like bihon,canton, and sotanghon…and ofcourse the lechon which is the big event of all foods.. LOL…but the sad reality after eating all those foods is that youre gaining wt… ugh, which is my hatest part.
But I guess its not just happy days I remembered last couple of months… I experience anger and sorrow. Shared some tears with my brother and hatred to “others”. There this incident happened to my bro which really teached me some lessons in life. Pride. Yes, we do all have our pride… sometimes we just need to swallow and throw it away sometimes coz when we bring it all the way into our lives nothing will happen to us… we will never learn and we will never move on… That day I saw my brother cried really hard… and I can feel his pain, all I did was that I just hug him feeling, his tears rush into my hands.. that day he hates himself… I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say on that momment.All I can remember is that I keep on mumbling words about moving on and forgeting it all. But with the love and support of mom and dad whom I guess is expert on handling problems, they let my brother feel ok even just for awhile and I guess im thankful to that.
But hey few days after that incident we are anticipating the arrival of my uncle and auntie from Canada. They are here for Christmas (which is my fave celebration for each year) and New Year… Yey, and I guess its presents time.. LOL… Actually I received a lot this month and I consider it a pre xmas gifts already… I could not ask for more, I guess… So im just saving up on buying myself a Girls’ Generation Photobook or a calendar since I cant watch Taylor Swift Concert next year and not to mentiona also the long list of my fave books I want to buy for xmas and cds… a lot to buy but no money.. ugh!!!!!!
I guess for now I will be going back to where it all begun… the anxiety I am feeling now and the pressure. I can do this… What the mind perceives the body will follow… Think positive jacelle~ goodluck and as snsd said “himnae”! fighting!!!!! Whooo.. this is it… positive energy come to me now… mornyts~
It's December!
