what a relief.

im up for a blog tonight, or should i say morning....kkk^^ yup i can smile now, and guess what why.... u will know later!

past few days i've been so down. i spazz a bit in twitter, but sometimes in between its reality that eats me. it is all started with a letter from my cousin who is in Canada. I haven't heard from her since January (she's busy of her work, and I really do understand that) so yeah, its started there when she ask how am i doing right now, and she is just checking on me if im still alive or not kk^^ anyways, im a bit hesitant at first to reply back coz of the "thing" happened to me last Feb.19 (yes i do remember that date, some would say its memorable to them but others would say it would be some of their worst--pls. include me). ;) i replied back at her,like beating around the bush message. i didnt said anything about that "thing".. i just said that its been hard for me to cope for the few months so i haven't contacted them, and my smart cousin figured it out what im talking about. Actually i expected them to know everything, i mean my uncle is really updated with the news here in the Philippines.. so yeah... :)

after reading the replies of my dear cousin, she suggested that i would tell it to her dad, (my uncle) about everything, she did support me as expected and she said they would understand. So, earlier around 12:45AM here, we called in Canada... my mom did the intro and then after i grab the phone and burst into tears, and in our whole conversation i was just crying. i will not further elaborate on the things we talked, all i gotta say is im so blessed that i have the best and supportive family in the world. thank you Tito and Tita, for understanding and never ending support.

now, i can breathe well... i can relax and just think about the future, on what things i need to do in order to achieve whatever it is planned. I will not give up nor quit the race coz it is just starting, and i know i can reach  my destination soon with the love and support of my family and friends and ofcourse with God...

thank u Lord for everything, especially for giving me a wonderful  family and friends! love u always and forever!

xoxo,jas

and i pray~

Time to blog again… I know Ive been blogging a lot lately…blogging a lot of myself like my favorite author, books, music but this time it will be different… Let’s just say, I’ll be blogging in general form maybe like about life and stuffs… J so Im warning you already  if u don’t want to read  this cheesy blog of mine, u better stop here, it’s fine.. hahaha~ ps. sorry for the late post!

Life as we know it is precious. We are the holder of our own action and doings and no one else, but what will you do when along the way your life will be taken away from u in just a snap? Are you prepared? Are you ready? These are the common question I always encountered. We all know our life here on earth is just borrowed from God. Sometimes we take life as for granted (maybe I can include myself to that situation). It’s sad but it’s true and it’s reality we are talking about here.*sigh

My point is we must start to appreciate the things that are happening into our life, even little things. We tend to forget it coz we are blinded with a lot of our vices and stuffs, for one I would admit it again. So it all depends on us, to control and balance it.  We also tend to remember  the mistakes and negative stuffs we had committed before which is good if when we use it as a guide for our better tomorrow, but if we get stuck to that simple mistake and just take it for granted we will never succeed. 

Ok, as u can see maybe ur wondering why im writing this kinda stuffs, it is because I feel bad about what I am hearing and watching in the television, internet and in radios, not to mention the crimes and crisis we are suffering right now. But earlier I was been informed by a friend of mine that one of her friend died ,actually I didn’t know what the cause of it at first not after I saw it in the news that it was a car accident. Whoah, I was reading the article and I got teary eyes knowing that they are still studying and younger than me. They still have their dreams waiting. It’s sad that in just a blink of it, it was all taken away from them. And that’s the time I opened my eyes to reality and life. I took my life for granted somehow. So that’s why I feel a bit guilty. Sometimes, I feel bad when something is wrong, and suddenly conclude I hate my life and sometimes wish to die because of it. But I am not aware that there are people in this world who have problems worst than me. I never ever think about that not until now. So somehow this incident is somewhat a mind opener to me, that we should appreciate life whatever it is planned and make the most out of it.

After an hour or two, I saw in Twitter the news about Japan being hit by an earthquake and tsunami.  It got me worried, but I still continue surfing and lurking in the net. Suddenly a news flash appeared on the tv, a footage of the earthquake which ranges 8.9 magnitude and live video of the tsunami happening right now to them. Watching the video it gives me goose bumps, and I can’t believe that it is happening to the world right now. I mean it seems that im watching a movie of a new 2012 ver. or something worst, I can still picture it out on my mind. It’s scary and im totally frightened… Indeed, you cannot stop the forces of nature when it attacks you. L sad case.

Events and Incidents happening into our life have reasons… I guess, there are a lot of reasons why is it happening to us. Testing us, teaching us to be strong and keeping us united as one. In a state calamity such as this, people gather together to help one another and that is truly a remarkable mark of Unity. Let just not lose our faith on Him. This is the time to hold on each others hands, setting aside our differences and accepting the new challenges that may arrive. Whatever race, beliefs we got,  we are brothers and sisters no matter what.

Live and cherish life as possible as we could!

Pray. Live. Love

Pray for Japan, and pray for the World!

                             xoxo,jas

ignored...

Being ignored by someone close to you without knowing the reason, hurts

Or maybe again Im being too paranoid as always

Thinking something is wrong and making it as a problem of mine

Im not sure, but that’s what Im feeling right now.

Hi or hello, that’s ok for me

Or even good morning, good afternoon or good evening

But I haven’t got news from you

Since the day you said “goodbye” and “take care” a couple of weeks ago

Please tell me what’s wrong

So that I will not think anything nonsense and stupid

Just please tell me again and I will listen

Because this girl right here is tired of guessing coz u left it hanging

I’ll wait and I want you to tell you that

Coz that's what friends are for, right?

Friends do tell

Even if it hurts

-jas-

Get Up!

Actually Im not sure what to put or type on the title portion for this...since i just had my "downfall" slash (/) "depression" slash (/) "denial" several days ago and day by day I am thinking when will i blog again...will i ever blog again how "wicked" my life is? or will it still be wicked? hahaha.. OFCOURSE!!! i think its part of life, sometimes you stumble along the road of life and you should wipe whatever tears or blood (don't take it literally) u may have....Yes, it will leave scars but then it will heal soon enough. It takes time. For now I am so grateful for the support and love of my family and friends. They are like the best people in the world. And also i will not forget to thank the Lord for giving me those amazing people... Actually I never ever asked God or question Him about the results, maybe He have a reason and plans for me.. So i keep on holding to Him no matter what happens... A friend of mine post a quote, "if u cant touch His hands or reach His hands, touch/reach His HEART!" so i keep on reaching for it...

As for now, im still on my recovery phase.. Sometimes i still do think about it since its still visible in fb and i cant ignore hearing from my friends talking about it, but I'm happy for them too... I feel sorry I wasn't able to congratulate them on  that day but i think they will understand... I'm so proud of them.. Maybe for me, its not my time yet!So i keep on waiting and keep on fighting~ Aja! I'll work hard.

And for those people i did disappoint.. im sorry..I will try my best next time... just pls dont lose hope on me. I believe everyone deserve a second chance...But again Im sorry...


So i guess i said it... i can start fresh.. and let just take it as a lesson... And hopefully it will help me mold into a better,mature person...

Again thanks always from the bottom of my heart...

xoxo,jas

Fave lines:

ps.i think almost the lyrics is my fave~

Everybody's got that time in their life
When everything hurts and nothing's right
But you gotta walk on,yeah you gotta walk on.

Everybody's got a piece of their heart
That's been stepped on and torn apart,
But you gotta be strong,Yeah, you gotta walk on. 

"Everybody's got that one regret no matter how they try, they can't forget,

But you gotta move on,yeah, you gotta move on.
Everybody's got someone they've lost,
And they can't believe they're really gone
But you gotta live on, yeah, you gotta live on"

untitled...........

My own little nightmares becomes real

I don’t know what to do when I first heard about it

I was in my denial as usual

But its reality now Im facing

I can’t sleep tonight that’s why im here blogging

Everytime I close my eyes it’s there, the past im thinking

I rather want to stay awake as possible as I could

In order for me to forget and to move on for a bit

But still here I am lost in the darkness of these four walls

Trying to hide the tears

Pretending to be strong on the outside

But not knowing Im totally crashed in the inside

Will this ache will end?

Im trying to figure out all by myself,that's what Im thinking

Can I survive from this fallout?

Can I be myself again as before?

Im not really sure what will I answer to those question

All I know is that Im trying my best to get up step by step as I could

With the help of my friends, yes-that’s you

And with the Love and Guidance from my family and most especially to God

xoxo,jas

just take a breath

I want to turn off the light coz I don’t want others to see me cry

They knew me as a person who is smiling all the time

But it is funny how a simple smile can hide,

Coz it doesn’t show what I am feeling inside.

Im scared, that’s why I am crying

Scared of what tomorrow will bring

Each night Im having these little nightmares

And it is eating bits and bits of pieces of me

Right now Im thinking,

Will I ever survive and live this life?

Im having my doubts now,

Tears flowing like the rain outside my window

But, I gotta be strong

I just need to be strong

I just need to take a breath

xoxo,jas